im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
