You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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