she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
