just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
