There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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