So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
