So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Randomize
