I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
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