You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
did i just pee glitter
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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