Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
