There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
