I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
