My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
being pregnant is like rehab
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
