You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
