she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
