i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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