So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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