Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Michael Bay diarrhea
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
