How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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