He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
God, I missed his penis.
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