You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
