I murdered the dance floor call the cops
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
The ass gains better be worth it
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