please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
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