I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize