Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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