hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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