I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
