I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
