so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
