i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
You should frame my arrest warrant.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
