absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
I did not marry a roomba.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
