Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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