I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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