Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
