just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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