she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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