You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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