I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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