did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
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