Best friends brother. Beat that.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
