all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
