I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
