You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
