Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize