So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
