weddingsv make me drug and hornr
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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