Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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