I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
