hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
