her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
