I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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