What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Randomize
