I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
