True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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