I think I died a long time ago.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
