She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
