so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
We left the knife in your bed.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
