Define "chronic" masturbator.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
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