I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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