they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
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