jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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