I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
