I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
pop tarts are not kleenex
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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